Sunday, 23 September 2012

10 TIPS TO IMPROVE COMMUNICATION SKILLS


10 TIPS TO IMPROVE COMMUNICATION SKILLS

By communicating with each other, we express our views and thoughts and also understand others. The interaction could be verbal or non verbal. While some people are born with good communication skills others need to work on them to improvise their skills. Interacting with another individual or a group, making presentations, giving public speeches, negotiating large deals, persuading a team, or mailing a client across the world, whatever be the method of communication, it needs to be effective, clear and concise. If you are good at communication then you will automatically own problem solving skills. Let us look at some of the ways it improve communication skills:
1.Listening: Some people think if they are fabulous speakers then they are good at communication, forgetting that listening is a very key factor in communication. And unless you are a great listener you cannot be a great communicator too. To be a good listener takes genuine interest in other peoples’ view points and perceptions, avoid distractions, make notes if you are unable to remember all that you listen, don’t interrupt another person while they are speaking, listen to them till they have finished without jumping into conclusions about what they might say. These are some of the practices you can adopt to become a good listener.
2. Read: Reading helps you to understand a language, the grammar, the way sentences are formed, helps you acquaint yourselves with jargons, opens up your mind to new perspectives, helps you learn new things, increases your creativity, and also enables you to be an interesting speaker. Sharing views with people you would like to have conversations with or just for the pure pleasure of your personality development, whatever be the reason, reading definitely brings you the benefits and improves your communication skills.
3. Watch Your Body Language: We not only speak verbally but also non-verbally. By understanding or reading a person’s body language such as their tone, gestures, eye contact, facial expressions, etc you can decipher their true intentions or message. Body language helps you improve your understanding and communication by mapping others’ words with their body signals as it is believed that body language gives out what truly goes on inside of us. However, it is important to keep in mind that body language can also be influenced by various cultures.


4.Questioning Right: Asking questions is a crucial part of communication as it helps you understand the topic or point or matter clearly. It enables the exchange of information between people. Some of the various types of questions are open and closed questions, rhetorical questions, leading questions, funnel type, probing questions etc. Questioning right and also listening intently will help you while communicating and enhances your comprehension.
5. Understanding the Basics of Communication: What is the communication process? A communication process or a cycle is applicable to all situations and to everybody. It involves steps and by understanding the process, you can figure out your strengths and areas of improvement in communication. You can avoid the communication loopholes and make the process effective. The communications cycle involves: A goal – encoding the message – transmitting the message – receiving the message – decoding or understanding the received message – providing feedback or responding to the sender.
6. Negotiation: There maybe situations where you may have to negotiate with another person or group to meet your goals and it is quite possible that the other person or group may also try to win the negotiation. Effective negotiation occurs when you listen well to others needs and perspectives; talk with an open mind, direct your interaction towards a win-win solution rather than trying to win at the other’s expense.

7. Making Notes: Sharing information or circulating the minutes of the meeting is one way to remember all points discussed and track them to closure. Prepare an agenda well before the meeting so that people can come prepared for the meeting, and everyone’s time is better utilized. Assigning owners for action items and informing them helps not only get the work done but also saves time in co-ordination.
8. Public Speaking: Addressing an audience requires preparation of the content to be presented either orally or by projecting the information on a screen. Be confident and make eye contact with the audience. Speaking slowly but clearly will ensure the audience are able to understand your message. Too much data or too many statistics may spoil your presentation. It is important you focus on the needs of the audience.
9. Receiving and Giving Feedback: Feedback forms a key role in communication. It helps the sender and the receiver improvise their communication or work. Being fair in your judgment also helps in enhancing working relationships and communicating further in a better way. A positive attitude towards feedback can get you that much nearer to success.
10. Conflict Resolving: Conflicts are a natural part of interaction and working relationships. If managed badly, conflicts can blow up businesses and profitable deals or relationships. Communicating in a polite but firm manner, focusing on resolving the conflict instead of focusing on the individual or group, exploring facts rather than basing decisions on assumptions etc are some of the ways communication can help resolve conflicts.




Tuesday, 21 August 2012

GREAT QUOTES ON ATTITUDE

GREAT QUOTES ON ATTITUDE

 Here is a select compilation of famous attitude quotes I find most inspirational and motivating. Read and be inspired by these quotes.
“You can complain because roses have thorns, or you can rejoice because thorns have roses” ATTITUDE IS THE KEY.






ABRAHAM LINCOLN: 

Always bear in mind that your own resolution to succeed is more important than any other one thing.

ANNE FRANK: 

Then, without realizing it, you try to improve yourself at the start of each new day; of course, you achieve quite a lot in the course of time. Anyone can do this, it costs nothing and is certainly very helpful. Whoever doesn't know it must learn and find by experience that a quiet conscience makes one strong.



CARL ROGERS: 


If we value independence, if we are disturbed by the growing conformity of knowledge, of values, of attitudes, which our present system induces, then we may wish to set up conditions of learning which make for uniqueness, for self-direction, and for self-initiated learning.

CONFUCIUS:

To put the world right in order, we must first put the nation in order; to put the nation in order, we must first put the family in order; to put the family in order, we must first cultivate our personal life; we must first set our hearts right.






HELEN KELLER: 

When one door of happiness closes, another opens; but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one which has been opened for us.



HENRY FORD:

If you think you can, you can. And if you think you can't, you're right. also attributed to Mary Kay Ash




ROBERT COLLIER:

You can do anything you wish to do, have anything you wish to have, be anything you wish to be

ZIG ZAGLAR:

You cannot tailor make the situations in life, but you can tailor make the attitudes to fit those situations before they arise



NAPOLEON HILL:
Man, alone, has the power to transform his thoughts into physical reality; man, alone, can dream and make his dreams come true.

DR.ALBERT SCHWEITZER:
An optimist is a person who sees a green light everywhere. The pessimist sees only the red light. But the truly wise person is color blind.



AUTHOR UNKNOWN:
A healthy attitude is contagious but don't wait to catch it from others. Be a carrier

KALIL GIBRAN:

"Your living is determined not so much by what life brings to you as by the

attitude you bring to life; not so much by what happens to you as by the 

way your mind looks at what happens. "





Wednesday, 11 July 2012

PARADOX OF OUR TIME


PARADOX OF OUR TIMES

GEORGE CARLIN



Today we have bigger houses and smaller families.
More conveniences, but less time.
We have more degrees, but less common sense.
More knowledge, but less judgment.

We have more experts, but more problems.
More medicine, but less wellness.
We spend too recklessly,
Laugh too little,

Drive too fast,
Get to angry too quickly,
Stay up too late,
Read too little,

Watch TV too much,
And pray too seldom.
We multiplied our possessions, but reduce our values.
We talk too much, love too little and lie too often.

We’ve learned how to make living, but not a life,
We’ve added years to life, not life to years.
We have taller buildings, but shorter tempers,
wider freeways, but narrower viewpoints.

We spend more, but have less.
We buy more, enjoy it less.
We’ve been all the way to the moon and back,
but have trouble crossing the street to meet our neighbors.

We’ve conquered outer space, but not inner space.
We’ve split the atom, but not our prejudice.
We write more, learn less, plan more, but accomplish less.
We’ve learn to rush, but not to wait.

We have higher incomes, but lower morals.
We build more computers to hold more information, to produce more copies, but have less communications.
We are long on quantity, but less in quality.
These are the time of fast foods and slow digestion.

Tall men, and short character.
More leisure and less fun, more kinds of foods, but less nutrition.
Two incomes, but more divorce.
Fancier houses, but broken homes.

That’s why I propose, that as of today, you do not keep anything for special occasion,because every day you live is a special occasion.Search for knowledge, read more, sit on your front porch and admire the view without paying attention to your needs.

Spend more time with your family and friends, eat your favorite foods, and visit the places you love.Life is a chain of moment of enjoyment, not only about survival.
Use your crystal goblets, do not save your best perfume, and use it every time you feel you want it.

Remove from vocabulary phrases like “one of these days” and “someday.”
Let’s write that letter we thought of writing “one of these days.”
Let’s tell our families and friends how much we love them.






DO NOT DELAY ANYTHING THAT ADDS LAUGHTER AND JOY TO YOUR LIFE.


Sunday, 20 May 2012

10 TIPS FOR TRAVELING THROUGH LIFE - DR. JOHN MAXWELL

TRAVELING THROUGH LIFE- DR.JOHN C. MAXWELL





Dr. John C. Maxwell, recognized Leadership expert, gives 10 solid tips for traveling through life.

                                                                     Tip #1: Travel Light

You can always tell the difference between an experienced traveler and a new one… by the size of their luggage. John mentioned that too many people travel through life with a lot of emotional baggage, which they’ve not yet learned to let go.Traveling light is about finding your priorities… carrying only the essential stuff… Oh yes… and asking for forgiveness along the way.

                                                                     Tip #2: Take someone with you 

Life is about relationships. Isn’t it awfully lonely to travel through life alone?Maybe you’ve been hurt before, but that doesn’t mean that you should close your heart. It only means that you know the characteristics you don’t want in a partner/friend.Let time heal your heart and then find someone to travel through life with.

                                                                   Tip #3: Follow The Road Map 

  Have a game plan. If you do not know where you are going, then how can you hope to get there? It is important to know where you are(A) by doing self-reflection everyday and where you want to go (B) by setting goals… but do not succumb to “destination disease”. Life is not only about reaching B.  Life HAPPENS between A and B! Enjoy the journey…

                                                                    Tip #4: Take The High Road 
  
”Those who are instruments of grace to others become recipients of grace to themselves”.John talks about the necessity of having a life stance – your overall frame of reference – your attitude, assumptions and expectations of yourself, others around you and life.Taking the high road means that you do not keep score. You learn to forgive others and do your best to help the people around you.
                                                                  Tip #5: Stop And Ask For Directions

 Most people are too stubborn or proud to do that. They would rather go around in circles than stop to ask someone for directions.Remember that no matter the direction you are heading, it’s very likely that someone else has already been there and done that. Be prepared to ask for advice… and shortcut your learning curve.

                                                               Tip #6: Make A U-Turn When Needed 

 ”Life is the art of drawing without an eraser.” You can’t turn back time when you have made a mistake… but you can change directions and make a U-turn before it’s too late.Sometimes, we may find ourselves headed into a dead end… the sooner we realize we have to make a change and do it, the more likely we will find ourselves back on a safe route.

                                                                   Tip #7: Appreciate The Detours 

  Life is not a smooth one way street. Along the way, you will meet obstacles and challenges. Appreciate and learn to take the detours.John reframed “Problems”. He said that problems are…

Predictors
Reminders
Opportunities
Blessings
Lessons
Everywhere
Messages
Solvable
                                                               Tip #8: Take Pictures  Create Memories.

 Work like you don’t need the money
Dance like no one is watching
Sing like no one is listening
Love like you’ve never been hurt
Live like it’s heaven on earth

                                                             

Tip #9: Travel The Extra Mile 

Who knows what you would find in that extra mile? Another adventure… A beautiful sight… A lovely encounter… An enchanting lover…Go the extra mile… it may be worth the whole journey.
                                                           
                                                                Tip #10: Stop To Smell The Roses 

Remember not to rush though life… Take some time out to appreciate its beauty… Enjoy the butterflies’ dance… and last but not least, be grateful… for everyone and everything in your life.


Thursday, 29 March 2012

DON'T SAY YES WHEN YOU WANT TO SAY NO




Tell me if this sounds familiar -- someone asks you to do something that you really don't want to do or you honestly don't have time for. It might be a request or an unreasonable request from a friend, a neighbor, a close relative, a family member, your office colleague or your boss for just working late. But you feel like you will let the other person down if you say no. You feel GUILTY already, and you haven't even responded yet! So you say, "Sure," even though doing so is going to put you under tremendous stress and PRESSURE. You know that you will probably end up resenting this activity, and maybe even ducking some of your responsibilities because your heart's just not in it, but you go ahead and agree anyway.

Why are we so afraid to tell people "NO"? For some reason, we have been taught that "no" is DISRESPECTFUL -- and even insulting. We seem to value other people's time more than our own -- feeling that we need to bend over backward to accommodate others, even if it inconveniences us.  When you tell someone "no," you are really saying that you understand and accept your own LIMITS, and don't want to do a shoddy job by overwhelming yourself.That you value your time and priorities and aren't willing to take away from the truly important things in your life. A little selfishness is necessary, if you want to maintain a balanced and sane life!

So how do you say "NO" without insulting the other person, feeling consumed with guilt, or hurting your own credibility? We need to find a way to say "no" without dragging up all of those HIDDEN FEARS -- they'll think I'm lazy or selfish, that I have no career drive, that I'm not ambitious, that I have no concern for other people. Once you've accepted that you have the right (and often responsibility) to turn someone down, you can do it in a way that doesn't seem like a REJECTION.

Here are 20 ways to say "NO" without hurting others



1. “I CAN’T RIGHT NOW, BUT I CAN DO IT LATER”

If you really want to help the person but don’t have time now, tell them so. Offer a later time or date — if they can’t wait for you they will find someone else.

2. “I’M REALLY NOT THE MOST QUALIFIED PERSON FOR THE JOB”

If you don’t feel that you have adequate skills to take on a task, that’s okay. It’s better to admit your limitations up front than feel overwhelmed down the road.

3. “I JUST DON’T HAVE ANY ROOM IN MY CALENDAR RIGHT NOW”

Be honest if your schedule is filled — and “filled” doesn’t have to mean really FILLED! It just means you have scheduled as much as you are willing and you’re stopping.

4. “I CAN’T, BUT LET ME GIVE YOU THE NAME OF SOMEONE WHO CAN”

If you aren’t available to help out, offer another qualified resource. Professionals do this all the time when they refer a client to a colleague.

5. “I HAVE ANOTHER COMMITMENT”

And it doesn’t matter what that commitment is. It could be a meeting or a dentist appointment or a day in the park with your kid. The point is, you aren’t available.

6. “I’M IN THE MIDDLE OF SEVERAL PROJECTS AND CAN’T SPARE THE TIME”

Let people know when you have already accepted other responsibilities — no one is going to fault you for having already filled your plate.

7. “I’VE HAD A FEW THINGS COME UP AND I NEED TO DEAL WITH THOSE FIRST”

Unexpected things happen that throw your schedule off — it happens. So accept that you may need to make a few adjustments until your life stabilizes again.

8. “I WOULD RATHER DECLINE THAN END UP DOING A MEDIOCRE JOB”

Knowing that you aren’t able to deliver a quality product — for whatever reason — is reason enough for turning a request down.

9. “I’M REALLY FOCUSING MORE ON MY PERSONAL AND FAMILY LIFE RIGHT NOW”

People act ashamed of wanting to spend time with their families — like it means they don’t have goals. Having a strong family is a goal in and of itself!

10. “I’M REALLY FOCUSING MORE ON MY CAREER RIGHT NOW”

The reverse is true also — you may have to give up some civic or community duties to focus your energies on a work-related task (and that’s fine, too!)

11. “I REALLY DON’T ENJOY THAT KIND OF WORK”

Who said you were supposed to enjoy your chores and assignments?! Well, if you don’t enjoy them, why do them? Life isn’t about drudgery and boredom.

12. “I CAN’T, BUT I’M HAPPY TO HELP OUT WITH ANOTHER TASK”

If someone asks you to do something you really despise, refuse — but then offer to help with something you find more enjoyable or stimulating.

13. “I’VE LEARNED IN THE PAST THAT THIS REALLY ISN’T MY STRONG SUIT”

Another way of admitting your limitations. Did you know that actually makes you stronger? Knowing what you can handle and what you can’t is a tremendous talent!

14. “I’M SURE YOU WILL DO A WONDERFUL JOB ON YOUR OWN”

Many times, people ask for help because they doubt their own abilities. Let the other person know that you have confidence that they will succeed.

15. “I DON’T HAVE ANY EXPERIENCE WITH THAT, SO I CAN’T HELP YOU”

Volunteering to help out shouldn’t mean that you have to learn an entirely new set of skills. Offer to help out with something you already know how to do.

16. “I’M NOT COMFORTABLE WITH THAT”

You might be uncomfortable with the people involved, the type of work, the moral implications — this is a very respectful way to avoid a sticky situation.

17. “I HATE TO SPLIT MY ATTENTION AMONG TOO MANY PROJECTS”

Let people know that you want to do a good job for them — but that you can’t when your focus is too divided or splintered.

18. “I’M COMMITTED TO LEAVING SOME TIME FOR MYSELF IN MY SCHEDULE”

Selfish, selfish, selfish! But in a good way! Treat your personal time like any other appointment — block it off in your calendar and guard it with your life!

19. “I’M NOT TAKING ON ANY NEW PROJECTS RIGHT NOW”

You aren’t saying that you will never help out again — just that you feel your schedule is as full as you would like right now.
20. “NO”

Sometimes it’s okay just to say no! Just make sure that you say it in a way that expresses respect and courtesy — that leaves the door open for good relations.
Author – Ramona Creel




Thursday, 8 March 2012

Ten Commandments for Peace of Mind


TEN COMMANDMENTS FOR PEACE OF MIND







Peace of mind is a goal that everyone wants to achieve but very few people know how to even get close to it. There are so many stresses in this world that it is hard to imagine living your life without feeling tense all of the time. What is peace of mind? It is a state of inner calmness and tranquillity, together with a sense of freedom, when thoughts and worries cease, and there is no stress, strain or fear. Inner peace is easy to achieve if you take it little by little and make small changes to the way to navigate your day. 


Here are some ten commandments that need to be followed religiously if we are serious about achieving perfect peace of mind.

1. Do not interfere in others' business unless asked 

Most of us create our own problems by interfering too often in others' affairs. We do so because somehow we have convinced ourselves that our way is the best way, our logic is the perfect logic, and those who do not conform to our thinking must be criticized and steered to the right direction, our direction. 

This kind of attitude on our part denies the existence of individuality and consequently the existence of God, for God has created each one of us in a unique way. No two human beings can think or act in exactly the same way. All men or women act the way they do because they are prompted to do so by the Divine within them. There is God to look after everything. Why are you bothered? Mind your own business and you will have your peace.
 

2. Forget and forgive

This is the most powerful aid to peace of mind. We often nurture ill feeling inside our heart for the person who insults or harms us. We foster grievances, which in turn results in loss of sleep, develops of stomach ulcer, high blood pressure and many other ailments that stealthily gnaws us from within. 

We forget that the insult or injury was done to us once but by nourishing the grievance we go on excavating the wound forever. Therefore it is essential that we cultivate the art of forgiving and forgetting. Believe in the justice of God and the doctrine of Karma. Let Him judge the act of the one who insulted you. Life is too short to waste in such trifles. Forget, forgive, and march on. 

3. Do not crave for recognition

This world is full of selfish people. They seldom praise anybody without selfish motive. They may praise you today because you are rich and have power but no sooner you are powerless, they will forget your achievement and start criticizing you. 

Moreover, each person is a mortal with a bundle of defects in them. No one individual is picture perfect. Then why do you value the words of praise of another mortal like you? Why do you crave for such false recognition and lose your peace of mind if the world does not praise you? Believe in yourself. People's praises do not last long and are not worth it. Do your duties ethically and sincerely and leave the rest to God. 

4. Do not be jealous 

We all have experienced how jealousy can disturb our peace of mind. You know you work harder than your colleagues in the office but they get promotions, you do not. You started a business several years ago but you are not as successful as your neighbor whose business is only one year old. There are several examples like these in every walk of life. Should you be jealous? No, remember everybody's life is shaped by his previous Karma that has now become his destiny. If you are destined to be rich, not all the world can stop you. If you are not so destined, no one can help you either. Nothing will be gained by blaming others for your misfortune. Jealousy will not get you anywhere, but will only give you restlessness. 
5. Change yourself according to the environment 

If you try to change the environment single handedly, the chances are you may fail. Instead, change yourself to suit the environment. As you do this, even the environment, which has remained unfriendly for you, will mysteriously appear to be congenial and harmonious. 
6. Endure what cannot be cured

This is the best way to turn a disadvantage into an advantage. Every day we face numerous inconveniences, ailments, irritations and accidents that are beyond our control. We must learn to put up with these things. We must learn to endure them cheerfully thinking, "God will it so, so be it". God's logic is beyond our comprehension. Believe it and you will gain in patience, in inner strength, in will power. 

7. Do not bite more than you can chew

This maxim should be always remembered. We often tend to take more responsibilities than we are capable to carry out. This is done to satisfy our ego. Know your limitations. Why take on additional loads that may create more worries? You cannot gain peace of mind by expanding your external activities. If you have extra time, then spend it in an inward life of prayer, introspection and meditation. This will reduce those thoughts in your mind, which make you restless. Fewer the thoughts, greater is the peace of mind. 

8. Meditate regularly

Meditation makes the mind thoughtless. This is the highest state of peace of mind. Try and experience it. If you meditate earnestly for half an hour every day, you will tend to become calm during the remaining twenty-three and a half hours. Your mind will not be disturbed as much as before. You must gradually increase the period of daily meditation. You may think this will interfere with your daily work. On the contrary, this will increase your efficiency and you will turn out more work in less time. 
9. Never leave the mind vacant

Empty mind is the devil's workshop. All evil deeds start in the mind. Keep your mind occupied in something positive, something worthwhile. Actively follow a hobby. Do something that holds your interest. You must decide what you value more - money or peace of mind. Your hobby, like social work or temple work may not always earn you more money, but you will have a sense of fulfillment and achievement. Even if you are resting physically, occupy yourself in healthy reading or mental chanting of God's name (japa). 
10. Do not procrastinate and never regret

Do not waste time in wondering "should I or shouldn't I?" Days, weeks, months and years may be wasted in that futile mental debating. You can never plan enough because you can never anticipate all future happenings. Always remember God has His own plan too. Value your time and do things. It does not matter if you fail the first time. You can rectify your mistakes and succeed the next time. Sitting back and worrying will lead to nothing. Learn from your mistakes but do not brood over the past. DO NOT REGRET! Whatever happened was destined to happen only that way. Take it as the will of God. You do not have the power to alter the course of God's will. Why cry over the spilt milk?



Peace is not something you wish for; It’s something you make, Something you do, Something you are, And something you give away. 
                                                  -Robert Fulghum    

     

-Robert Fulghum


Thursday, 2 February 2012

TWELVE VALUABLE STEPS TO RAISE YOUR SELF ESTEEM


 In order to build your self-esteem, you must establish yourself as the master of your own life. Every single minute of your life is a moment you can change for the better. As Eleanor Roosevelt said, "No one can make you feel inferior without your permission." 

 Building high self-esteem is a process, not something you can develop overnight," says Jeffrey Keller. "Yet, I believe every person has the capacity of high self-esteem. The question is, are you ready to make a commitment to increase your self-esteem?" If your answer is yes, here are 12 steps to get you started:


Step One
Stop comparing yourself with other people. There will always be some people who have more than you and some who have less. If you play the comparison game, you'll run into too many "opponents" you can't defeat.


Step Two
Stop putting yourself down. You can't develop high self-esteem if you repeat negative phrases about yourself and your abilities. Whether speaking about your appearances, your career, your relationships, your financial situation, or any other aspects of your life, avoid self-deprecating comments.


Step Three
Accept all compliments with "thank you." Ever received a compliment and replied," Oh, it was nothing." When you reject a compliment, the message you give yourself is that you are not worthy of praise. Respond to all compliments with a simple Thank You."


Step Four
Use affirmations to enhance your self-esteem. On the back of a business card or small index card, write out a statement such as "I like and accept my self." or "I am valuable, lovable person and deserve the best in life." Carry the card with you. Repeat the statement several times during the day, especially at night before going to bed and after getting up in the morning. Whenever you say the affirmation, allow yourself to experience positive feelings about your statement.


Step Five
Take advantage of workshops, books and cassette tape programs on self-esteem. Whatever material you allow to dominate mind will eventually take root and affect your behavior. If you watch negative television programs or read newspaper reports of murders and business rip off; you will grow cynical and pessimistic. Similarly, if you read books or listen to programs, that are positive in nature, you will take on these characteristics.


Step Six
Associate with positive, supportive people. When you are surrounded by negative people who constantly put you and your ideas down, your self-esteem is lowered. On the other hand, when you are accepted and encouraged, you feel better about yourself in the best possible environment to raise your self-esteem.


Step Seven
Make a list of your past successes. This doesn't necessarily have to consist of monumental accomplishments. It can include your "minor victories," like learning to skate, graduating from high school, receiving an award or promotion, reaching a business goal, etc. Read this list often. While reviewing it, close your eyes and recreate the feelings of satisfaction and joy you experienced when you first attained each success.


Step Eight
Make a list of your positive qualities. Are you honest? Unselfish? Helpful? Creative? Be generous with yourself and write down at least 20 positive qualities. Again, it's important to review this list often. Most people dwell on their inadequacies and then wonder why their life isn't working out. Start focusing on your positive traits and you'll stand a much better chance of achieving what you wish to achieve.


Step Nine
Start giving more. I'm not talking about money. Rather, I mean that you must begin to give more of yourself to those around you. When you do things for others, you are making a positive contribution and you begin to feel more valuable, which, in turn, lifts your spirits and raises your own self-esteem.

Step Ten
Get involved in work and activities you love. It's hard to feel good about yourself if your days are spent in work you despise. Self-esteem flourishes when you are engaged in work and activities that you enjoy and make you feel valuable. Even if you can't explore alternative career options at the present time, you can still devote leisure time to hobbies and activities, which you find stimulating and enjoyable.


Step Eleven
Be true to yourself. Live your own life - not the life others have decided is best for you. You'll never gain your own respect and feel good about yourself if you aren't leading the life you want to lead. If you're making decisions based on getting approval from friends and relatives, you aren't being true to yourself and your self-esteem is lowered.


Step Twelve
Take action! You won't develop high self-esteem if you sit on the sidelines and back away from challenges. When you take action - regardless of the ensuing result - you feel better about yourself. When you fail to move forward because of fear and anxiety, you'll be frustrated and unhappy - and you will undoubtedly deal a damaging blow to your self-esteem.


The "real you" is a magnificent, unique being with enormous potential and capacity for experiencing love of yourself and extending love to others. As your self-esteem grows, this "real you" emerges. You begin to take more risks and not be afraid of failure; you aren't as concerned with getting approval of others; your relationships are much more rewarding; you pursue activities that bring you joy and satisfaction; and you will make a positive contribution to the world. Most importantly, high self esteem brings you peace of mind ... when you're alone, you truly appreciate the person you're with - yourself.