TEN COMMANDMENTS FOR A STRESS-FREE LIFE

“Life is a journey and an experience.” We have all heard that before haven’t we? Well, that is true, it is a journey and we have the opportunity to make it great or mediocre. The choice is ours.

Ten Commandments Stress in our personal and professional lives is ever changing and constantly on the rise. Everyday we’re expected to do more and more with less and less – less resources, less energy and less time.

In order to master the ability to manage stress, it’s important to first remove one of the biggest obstacles that stands between chaos and calm – SELF.

Often we are one of the biggest contributors to the calamity and chaos we experience in our lives. Stress management is the recognition that life is all about the choices we make.

So starting today, choose to take control and follow these ten commandments to help you lead a stress-free lifestyle:

      1.YOU SHALL NOT BE PERFECT, OR EVEN TRY TO BE.

Think of how many things don’t get done because someone is waiting for the perfect time, place and circumstance. Working with perfection as your standard is both a mental and physical drain.

Lose the need to get everything done “perfect.” Know that it’s far better to accomplish a task at 85% perfection than to procrastinate and wait for 100% perfection.

   2.YOU SHALL NOT TRY TO BE ALL THINGS TO ALL PEOPLE.

Whether you like it or not, others will try to put who you are and what you do into a particular category in their head. They’ll label you with one or two words and resist – indeed be revolted – by anything that breaks that mold. That’s just the way the world is, and it’s better to work with it than to fight it.

Trying to be all things to all people may seem like a great way to cast a wide-net. But really, it’s a way to turn people off. Being everything is equivalent in most people’s minds as being nothing. What can’t be categorized is likely to be rejected and forgotten.

In business, career and relationships, decide who you are and what you stand for in a sharp fashion. Try to summarize it in only a word or two for the area you’re focused on. This is a much better strategy than trying to be all things to all people.

    3.YOU SHALL SOMETIMES LEAVE THINGS UNDONE.

Charles Hummel, author of Tyranny of the Urgent, wrote: “We live in constant tension between the urgent and the important. The problem is that many important tasks need not be done today, or even this week… The urgent task calls for instant action. The momentary appeal of these tasks seems irresistible, and they devour our energy. With a sense of loss we recall the vital tasks we pushed aside. We realize that we have become slaves to the tyranny of the urgent.”

Overcoming that tyranny of the urgent and focusing instead on those things that are truly important is one sure way to propel us on our way toward a stress-free life.

The way to overcome this problem is to leave some things undone. And that is especially hard for those of us who may have perfectionist tendencies and are driven to excel. We want to get it all done.

The irony is that we will accomplish more by attempting to do less. The key is to prioritize and set aside those things which are not as important. Put your effort into moving those long term projects a little further forward. Then you will eventually be able see success in that area.
  
 4.YOU SHALL NOT SPREAD YOURSELF TOO THIN.

Don’t spread yourself too thin or lay it on too thick. You really cannot be the best at everything that you want. It is better to be known for a little of something than a lot of nothing.

Don’t try to do it all. Find a couple of things and stick to those. Also organize your time well.

5.YOU SHALL LEARN TO SAY “NO”

Learning how to say “no” can be hard, but it’s something that I feel can really help you be more productive, reduce stress and do a better job with the things you do say “yes” to. Saying no to some things can actually help everyone involved.

The bottom line here is that there are times when you simply have too much going on to stay productive. In order to keep moving towards your goals you need to know when to say no and when to push things off your plate.

It can be hard, and you may feel badly about it, but in the end you’ll be happier, you’ll get more done and the people you live and work with will actually be better off for it as well.

   6.YOU SHALL SCHEDULE TIME FOR YOURSELF.

If you have trouble finding time to relax, put it in your schedule. Give yourself one hour on certain days to do an activity you truly enjoy. Work on a hobby, do some exercise, go for a walk, or read a book. It doesn’t matter what you do, as long as you enjoy it. These breaks will help you renew your energy and concentration.

Adding non-work activities to your schedule will give you extra motivation and focus for the times when you are working.

  7.YOU SHALL SWITCH YOURSELF OFF, AND DO NOTHING REGULARLY

Feeling stressed and unfocused? Try doing nothing. Or rather, try sitting in a quiet room thinking about nothing for at least 20 minutes, twice a day.

It sounds simple, even boring, but transcendental meditation isn’t just for mantra-chanting yogis or herbal-tea-drinking hippies. Maxed-out professionals are turning to daily meditation to lower blood pressure, prolong concentration, and crank up creative juices.

“It helps me slow down,” says Erica Kalick, founder and president of Erica’s Rugelach & Baking Co., a 10-employee gourmet pastry manufacturer in Brooklyn, N.Y. Kalick took up meditation to help her cope after a personal tragedy. “We run around all day, usually thinking about ourselves,” she says. “But if, for example, I’m pissed off at an employee, I can slow down and think about it from the other person’s perspective.”

When you meditate thus before you start working on a task, your stress levels decreases and a great deal of clarity arises.

  8.YOU SHALL NOT EVEN FEEL GUILTY FOR 
             DOING  NOTHING, OR SAYING NO.

An all-or-nothing attitude is why so many people have so little success; we choose structured programs because they relieve us from making choices for ourselves.

And if you begin to make changes in your life with the assumption that any deviation from your plan will ruin it, you might as well not even begin.

Life is full of unplanned obstacles, distractions, and temptations. Your best approach is to prepare for them, keeping an open mind and maintaining a positive attitude.

 9.YOU SHALL BE BORING, UNTIDY, INELEGANT,  
               AND  UNATTRACTIVE AT TIMES.

Actress Jamie Lee Curtis, known for her acting talents and physical beauty, recently took a bold step many of us would shutter at the thought of – she posed for a magazine minus make-up in a crop top and shorts. She posed for all the world to see the “real” beauty she is – a confident women who doesn’t definite herself by other people’s standards.

Chasing after beauty defined by others (media, family, friends, spouse, co-workers and others) is detrimental to your peace of mind.

You don’t have to look and feel your best every single day. Be bold and love the skin you’re in right now – crooked nose, warts, corns, receding hairline, wrinkles, sags, bulges and all. Appreciate your natural beauty and love yourself just the way you are.

10.YOU SHALL NOT BE YOUR OWN WORST ENEMY. BUT, 
                    BE YOUR OWN BEST FRIEND.

Far too often, we are quick as a whip to complain when we feel we did something wrong, yet we are not as quick to lavish praise.Complaining about every little thing is very stressful and draining.

Starting today, make a point to praise yourself every time you have a positive impact on your life. Doing so will not only make you feel good, but will make a difference in a positive way and help you manage stress.


               REMEMBER THAT A STRESS-FREE LIFE IS ALL ABOUT CHOICE – 
                             WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO CHOOSE TODAY?


And in the end, it’s not the years in your life that count.
It’s the life in your years.
                                                                  - Abraham Lincoln

ALPHABET OF HAPPINESS

A – ACCEPT - Accept others for who they are and for the choices they’ve made even if you have difficulty understanding their beliefs, motives, or actions

 

B – BREAK AWAY - Break away from everything that stands in the way of what you hope to accomplish with your life.

 

C – CREATE - Create a family of friends whom you can share your hopes, dreams, sorrows, and happiness with.

 

D – DECIDE - Decide that you’ll be successful and happy come what may, and good things will find you. The roadblocks are only minor obstacles along the way.

E – EXPLORE - Explore and experiment. The world has much to offer, and you have much to give. And every time you try something new, you’ll learn more about yourself.

F – FORGIVE - Forgive and forget. Grudges only weigh you down and inspire unhappiness and grief. Soar above it, and remember that everyone makes mistakes.

G – GROW - Leave the childhood monsters behind. They can no longer hurt you or stand in your way.

H – HOPE - Hope for the best and never forget that anything is possible as long as you remain dedicated to the task.

I– IGNORE - Ignore the negative voice inside your head. Focus instead on your goals and remember your accomplishments. Your past success is only a small inkling of what the future holds.

J – JOURNEY - Journey to new worlds, new possibilities, by remaining open-minded. Try to learn something new every day, an you’ll grow.

K – KNOW - Know that no matter how bad things seem, they’ll always get better. The warmth of spring always follows the harshest winter.

L – LOVE - Let love fill your heart instead of hate. When hate is in your heart, there’s room for nothing else, but when love is in your heart, there’s room for endless happiness.

M – MANAGE - Manage your time and your expenses wisely, and you’ll suffer less stress and worry. Then you’ll be able to focus on the important things in life.

N – NOTICE - Never ignore the poor, infirm, helpless, weak, or suffering. Offer your assistance when possible, and always your kindness and understanding.

O – OPEN - Open your eyes and take in all the beauty around you. Even during the worst of times, there’s still much to be thankful for.

P – PLAY - Never forget to have fun along the way. Success means nothing without happiness.

Q – QUESTION - Ask many questions, because you’re here to learn.

R – RELAX - Refuse to let worry and stress rule your life, and remember that things always have a way of working out in the end.

S – SHARE - Share your talent, skills, knowledge, and time with others. Everything that you invest in others will return to you many times over.

T – TRY Even when your dreams seem impossible to reach, try anyway. You’ll be amazed by what you can accomplish.

U – USE - Use your gifts to your best ability. Talent that’s wasted has no value. Talent that’s used bill bring unexpected rewards.

V – VALUE - Value the friends and family members who’ve supported and encouraged you, and be there for them as well.

W – WORK - Work hard every day to be the best person you can be, but never feel guilty if you fall short of your goals. Every sunrise offers a second chance.

X – X-RAY - Look deep inside the hearts of those around you and you’ll see the goodness and beauty within.

Y – YIELD - Yield to commitment. If you stay on track and remain dedicated, you’ll find success at the end of the road.

Z – ZOOM - Zoom to a happy place when bad memories or sorrow rears its ugly head. Let nothing interfere with your goals. Instead, focus on your abilities, your dreams, and a brighter tomorrow.

 

15 THINGS YOU SHOULD GIVE UP TO BE HAPPY

15 THINGS YOU SHOULD GIVE UP TO BE HAPPY

Here is a list of 15 things which, if you give up on them, will make your life a lot easier and much, much happier. We hold on to so many things that cause us a great deal of pain, stress and suffering – and instead of letting them all go, instead of allowing ourselves to be stress free and happy – we cling on to them. Not anymore. Starting today we will give up on all those things that no longer serve us, and we will embrace change. Ready? Here we go:

1. GIVE UP YOUR NEED TO ALWAYS BE RIGHT

 There are so many of us who can’t stand the idea of being wrong – wanting to always be right – even at the risk of ending great relationships or causing a great deal of stress and pain, for us and for others. It’s just not worth it. Whenever you feel the ‘urgent’ need to jump into a fight over who is right and who is wrong, ask yourself this question: “Would I rather be right, or would I rather be kind?” Wayne Dyer. What difference will that make? Is your ego really that big?

2. GIVE UP YOUR NEED FOR CONTROL

Be willing to give up your need to always control everything that happens to you and around you – situations, events, people, etc. Whether they are loved ones, coworkers, or just strangers you meet on the street – just allow them to be. Allow everything and everyone to be just as they are and you will see how much better will that make you feel.

“By letting it go it all gets done. The world is won by those who let it go. But when you try and try. The world is beyond winning.” Lao Tzu

3. GIVE UP ON BLAME

 Give up on your need to blame others for what you have or don’t have, for what you feel or don’t feel. Stop giving your powers away and start taking responsibility for your life.

4. GIVE UP YOUR SELF-DEFEATING SELF-TALK

 Oh my. How many people are hurting themselves because of their negative, polluted and repetitive self-defeating mindset? Don’t believe everything that your mind is telling you – especially if it’s negative and self-defeating. You are better than that.

“The mind is a superb instrument if used rightly. Used wrongly, however, it becomes very destructive.” Eckhart Tolle

5. GIVE UP YOUR LIMITING BELIEFS

about what you can or cannot do, about what is possible or impossible. From now on, you are no longer going to allow your limiting beliefs to keep you stuck in the wrong place. Spread your wings and fly!

“A belief is not an idea held by the mind, it is an idea that holds the mind” Elly Roselle

6. GIVE UP COMPLAINING

 Give up your constant need to complain about those many, many, maaany things – people, situations, events that make you unhappy, sad and depressed. Nobody can make you unhappy, no situation can make you sad or miserable unless you allow it to. It’s not the situation that triggers those feelings in you, but how you choose to look at it. Never underestimate the power of positive thinking.

7. GIVE UP THE LUXURY OF CRITICISM

Give up your need to criticize things, events or people that are different than you. We are all different, yet we are all the same. We all want to be happy, we all want to love and be loved and we all want to be understood. We all want something, and something is wished by us all.

8. GIVE UP YOUR NEED TO IMPRESS OTHERS

Stop trying so hard to be something that you’re not just to make others like you. It doesn’t work this way. The moment you stop trying so hard to be something that you’re not, the moment you take off all your masks, the moment you accept and embrace the real you, you will find people will be drawn to you, effortlessly.

9. GIVE UP YOUR RESISTANCE TO CHANGE

 Change is good. Change will help you move from A to B. Change will help you make improvements in your life and also the lives of those around you. Follow your bliss, embrace change – don’t resist it.
“Follow your bliss and the universe will open doors for you where there were only walls” Joseph Campbell

10. GIVE UP LABELS

 Stop labeling those things, people or events that you don’t understand as being weird or different and try opening your mind, little by little. Minds only work when open. “The highest form of ignorance is when you reject something you don’t know anything about.” Wayne Dyer

11. GIVE UP ON YOUR FEARS

Fear is just an illusion, it doesn’t exist – you created it. It’s all in your mind. Correct the inside and the outside will fall into place.
“The only thing we have to fear, is fear itself.” Franklin D. Roosevelt

12. GIVE UP YOUR EXCUSES

Send them packing and tell them they’re fired. You no longer need them. A lot of times we limit ourselves because of the many excuses we use. Instead of growing and working on improving ourselves and our lives, we get stuck, lying to ourselves, using all kind of excuses – excuses that 99.9% of the time are not even real.

13. GIVE UP THE PAST

I know, I know. It’s hard. Especially when the past looks so much better than the present and the future looks so frightening, but you have to take into consideration the fact that the present moment is all you have and all you will ever have. The past you are now longing for – the past that you are now dreaming about – was ignored by you when it was present. Stop deluding yourself. Be present in everything you do and enjoy life. After all life is a journey not a destination. Have a clear vision for the future, prepare yourself, but always be present in the now.

 

14. GIVE UP ATTACHMENT

This is a concept that, for most of us is so hard to grasp and I have to tell you that it was for me too, (it still is) but it’s not something impossible. You get better and better at with time and practice. The moment you detach yourself from all things, (and that doesn’t mean you give up your love for them – because love and attachment have nothing to do with one another,  attachment comes from a place of fear, while love… well, real love is pure, kind, and self less, where there is love there can’t be fear, and because of that, attachment and love cannot coexist) you become so peaceful, so tolerant, so kind, and so serene. You will get to a place where you will be able to understand all things without even trying. A state beyond words.

15. GIVE UP LIVING YOUR LIFE TO OTHER PEOPLE’S EXPECTATIONS

Way too many people are living a life that is not theirs to live. They live their lives according to what others think is best for them, they live their lives according to what their parents think is best for them, to what their friends, their enemies and their teachers, their government and the media think is best for them. They ignore their inner voice, that inner calling. They are so busy with pleasing everybody, with living up to other people’s expectations, that they lose control over their lives. They forget what makes them happy, what they want, what they need….and eventually they forget about themselves.  You have one life – this one right now – you must live it, own it, and especially don’t let other people’s opinions distract you from your path.